Well, it’s certainly been longer than I had hoped since last I wrote to you. It would give you all a very “patchy” picture of my life at Lee Abbey if I just share my most recent news and not fill you in on Crimbo (deliberate annoying word added for effect) and New Year.
Well, to say I found the last few days leading up to the House re-opening for Christmas a little stressful would be the understatement of my life. I know “stress” may be a word I use a lot and hope that doesn’t detract from the times I genuinely use it.
In Decmber 2004 my responsibilities were cleaning, and helping to decorate the Octagonal Lounge and Front Hall/Red Staircase. It should be noted that last year, we got some 2 weeks to do this. In December 2005 however, it was my job to personally oversee the whole operation but unfortunately our Maintenance Team (salaried 9:00am – 5:00pm workers who live locally but who aren’t actually on community) were completely redecorating the Octagonal Lounge. They did a GREAT job, but unfortunately it means we were left with a day and a half. The day being the same day guests arrived.
It seemed to take an age to get the Christmas tree erected (some 7 metres of it!!!!!!) and no one seemed to have any sense of urgency apart from me. Since the task was involving the Maintenance Team (whose scaffolding we needed to decorate the tree) and the Estate Team (who were trying to put the tree up, both of whom were fairly new to the work and a bit unsure as to the best way to do it) it wasn’t like I had the authority to crack the whip.
But, as the floor was polished (after the dust was thoroughly vacuumed away from some post-asbestos-removing plaster-boarding) the huge cast-iron grills were lifted and decades worth of dust was sucked out, as sofas were brought back in, plants arranged, cushions straightened and we worked our way backwards towards reception…the House was ready. This left me with about half an hour to plan the next days work, get a shower then race back down to the Octagonal Lounge for some informal carol singing next to our roaring open fire! This was fun albeit a little flustering on my part.
On Christmas Eve Eve, I was working in the Maintenance workshop on my day off, polishing and waxing some new doors for the property my line Manager (Lee Abbey’s centre Manager) had brought in Lynmouth. Whilst some thought I was a bit Looney doing such things on my day off, it gave me a chance to really RELAX and just chill out doing something different. Unfortunately, I forgot about lunch, and when I had to rush away at 4:00pm to get changed and ready for our Christmas Revue rehearsal at 5:00pm, the rehearsal ran over until about 7:15. Just time to go and wolf some dinner down before "curtain call" (so to speak, we have no stage in the Octag!) at 7:45pm. Each time I came off from either delivering some lines or singing in the 4-part choir … I came off wanting to cry. I felt utterly exhausted and stressed and distant from God (Lee Abbey being the worst place on the planet to be if you’re not feeling close to God!!!!!). I soon swooped past the “well done"s and the “very nice” comments and headed straight for bed.
Christmas Eve then, was yet another “Day Off” for me, yet having agreed to be part of our Nativity “walk” which started in the Octagonal Lounge, came to the COMMUNITY ONLY (normally at least) walled garden where the angel told the crowd where to go and look, then past one of the fields where a shepherd told us in no uncertain terms what she felt about her entire team of angels disappearing to go and look for some baby, then looping around to our barn where we had a pretty good nativity amongst some pretty foul-smelling cattle! My part was to be in the choir, but I think I realised for the first time how TOTTALLY unfit I am when I had to sing AND walk up hill. It nearly killed me!!!
Christmas Eve’s midnight’s service made it all worthwhile though. And despite the prospect of starting work at 7:00am on Christmas Day, I was very relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed the service which really spoke to me on a number of levels. The previous few days had also seen some GREAT milestones amongst my own team when all 13 of us managed to sit around for an hour and lay on the table any and all gripes/issues we had with each other. Maybe that spiritual high explained the lull before Christmas?
Christmas Day itself was wonderful. Work seemed to fly by and I arranged it so I covered my friend in the morning and she covered me in the afternoon so once my work in the morning was out the way, I managed to get the rest of the day to myself. The latter half of the day was very normal as I spent it at my Pastoral Link’s flat, watching TV (Including the Queen’s speech – which I hear was recorded for the guests but had no sound the first time round!!!) and sleeping on the sofa! Our morning service had also been very fun and lively. Stuart Townend’s classic “From the Squalor of a borrowed stable” is still a personal favourite. Also something I’ve ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted to see happen…a birthday cake presented during the service literally as a birthday cake for Jesus. You may think that sounds silly, but it really did set the tone for a “whose day is it anyway?” frame of mind.
I hadn’t really noticed that I hadn’t eaten much over Christmas and always seemed to feel full quite quickly. A few days later I woke up in desperate need of the loo in the early hours, only to find I was violently sick (including through my nose) as well. The signs and symptoms were identical to the time of our Royal visit and I new I had gastro enteritis. I snuck into the House and left a message for my team (regrettably a CHANGEOVER DAY and my Deputy had just come off Host Team so wouldn’t be around) to say I wouldn’t be able to come in. I rang our Doctor’s at 8:30am and got an appointment for 9:00am (not specifying my problem, just one of the perks of living in rural Devon).
This had also been the day that Jeremy and Catherine (and all 5 kids) were travelling to Lee Abbey as Jeremy was to be our guest speaker for the New Year’s houseparty. In the brochure since before I knew I would still be at Lee Abbey.
It wasn’t long before Catherine came up with the bright idea that since I’d been signed off for 5 days, I may as well go to their empty vicarage for the remainder of my time. She cleared it with the relevant folk at Lee Abbey who all thought it was better than keeping me under quarantine in my box (what I affectionately call my room) for 5 days. I jumped at the chance and as I set off in Gladys, I realised that snow was falling at an alarming rate. And as is annoying yet typical for North Devon, the snow never settles anywhere … except the roads!
A quick “emergency prayer” ensured it wasn’t long before a dark, quiet and somewhat eerie vicarage was brought to life by my safe, snow-free arrival. For the first time in 19 months I was about to buy my own food, cook my own food, watch my own TV and just have some ME time. Absolute ME TIME, which having lived with a family 100+ for so long was utterly vital to my well-being and I found a new sense of peace. This was also necessary after the unique Christmas rush but could apparently be due to the fact that my throat/viral infection (for which I was signed off work for 2 days at the beginning of December Closed) could actually have worked its way through my body to cause mayhem elsewhere.
Yet again, I lost a LOT of weight, and I have used this as the spear-head to a new way of eating. Not least because I don’t ever want to experience that again!
All in all, it has been a wonderful time where if I look back, I can clearly see God’s hand at work for my good…and I’ve certainly grown as a result! I guess this mammoth blog counts as a Christmas Newsletter
Wow! I always thought that Lee Abbey as a place that almost finished me off was just me being an embittered Christian who is blaming his present problems on his past.
ReplyDeleteYet, realistically, all the warning signs were there all along. TOO MUCH! I was TOO YOUNG for that!